Machiavelli Is Alive and Well In North Vancouver
by “Niccolo of North Van”
When the medieval Princes that ruled the city-states of Europe became concerned their subjects were chafing under their rule, it was customary to call in mercenaries and employ the latest suppression tactics to quell any uprising.
So too in the City of North Vancouver Prince Mussatto has survived a flawed but doughty assault on his rule. It was closer than he expected. And the debts he incurred for the mercenaries and their methods have yet to be paid.
There was the cost of the call center that strafed the principality with robocalls for a month leading up to the election. There were custom signs that featured his beaming visage on the City-owned bike racks. There was all the money he directed his patrons pay to other candidates on his slate because they could not (why would they) fund their own campaigns.
Fearing it would not be enough, he dispatched one of his mercenaries to dig up dirt, no matter that it was old and irrelevant, on his adversary. In order not to be seen soiling his own hands with such tawdry activity, he directed his patrons to prop up a fringe candidate known as the Pringlator and give him enough money that he would take on the odious task of hurling muck bombs at the Prince’s opponent. Apparently a thousand dollars is the cost of this service.
Fortunately for the Prince, the cumulative effect of all the strategies was just enough to eke out a win against the disorganized effort of the rebels.
However, uneasy sits the crown. The size of the Prince’s debts to his backers is not yet known. It is difficult to predict how much of the City he is going to have to give to them in return. Moreover, what has been up to now a passive and compliant citizenry might be troubled when they find out how extensively the Prince resorted to mercenaries and dirty tricks in defense of his rule.
Never mind. Four years is a long time and the City’s inhabitants have short memories. Plenty of time to dazzle them with platitudes and ferris wheels!